Thoughts are as deep dark waters.
Where you keep trampling to stay above.
You can’t see anything else then dark water everywhere.
Sometimes something slithers along your feet and you start swimming,
but nothing comes closer,
everything still looks the same.
What slithered past your feet scares you because it is unknown,
as well as the depths underneath you.
The depth is ravenous. Overwhelming and incomprehensible.
I once thought about quitting, quitting with trampling.
To submerge in the dark water.
How good it would feel,
the fresh water along your face,
the depth that engulves you,
everything disappears into oblivion,
nothing matters anymore,
nothing is important
and you can just let go.
The last breaths escape to the surface to break trough the viscous mass.
You almost think you can touch the soil.
Until you think about the last ray of sunlight you saw that day.
About that small flower bud that was fighting it’s way trough the earth.
And slowly you start panicking, because there is no oxygen.
Because you are blind.
And suddenly you feel that you’re not slowly sinking away,
but that you are drawned and sucked deeper in the darkness.
The panick is fed with will to live
and a last strength of live makes you struggle against the heavy flow.
Once above the surface, your instincts make you breath,
slowly your eyes are able to see again,
the beating of your heart slows down,
for a moment,
you are happy that you’re above the surface again.
Until you realize that nothing has changed.
The water is still pitch-black and infinite.
And that you have to dive.
You have to get back in the cold, vicous, thick water.
You’ll have to look.
You’ll have to look for what you want.
You’ll have to look for happiness.
You’ll have to work and toil,
You’ll have to suffer.
And that nothing goes without saying, never.
With a last deep breath you look up, to dive into the unknown.
To dive in the darkness, to find the light.